Club Smack - London

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"Club Smack has a strict fetish dress code in place. A stalking room amongst other facilities including a fun lounge and a dance cage. Tickets part paid in advance. Parties held every Friday evening in London." For more swingers clubs click here.

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Zee Says, "Zee returns to July's Club Smack to discover that it is no longer the new kid on the block - rather a fully fledged teenager full of verve and hormones on full tilt with not a single spot of acne. It has been a strange day. I have planned another trip to one of my current favourite places, namely, Club Smack, promoted by the gorgeous Mr & Mrs Angry Pants. However, it seems that Diderot's fatalistic mantra has come to rest at the House of Zee the Fataliste. Today events may well have been "ecrit la-haut sur le grand rouleau" but who'd have thought that it could have possibly interrupted my party plans. But yes, Vauxhall is cordoned off, closed, a no-go zone due to "terrorist activities". The news that ticker-tapes across the bottom of my TV screen is not optimistic at all. It is 5pm and the Goddess, who was due to lead the operation, delving into the inner-most quarters of my psyche and other bits too, hopefully, is unsure whether to make the journey in. And me too I have my doubts. Many doubts. If Vauxhall is indeed closed and crawling in police and sniffer dogs... If Club Smack is taking place in Vauxhall.... Hmmmm....One and one make....? Three! I am on the train. Off the train. On the train again. Euston is closed. Euston is open. I do this sort of country dance on and off the carriage for a while before committing. Before being committed. And it is a decision well made. Entering into Club Smack 's new venue in the Renaissance Rooms I have already forgotten the awful events of today. This is a massive venue part of which used by Club Smack. And it actually works. For as soon as you go through to the back section where the club is moving ahead at full tilt the people and events fill the place. It is dark, with effective and alluring lighting. DJ Vipa is already strutting her aural stuff. It is truly testament to this club that so many people are here. Not millions but enough. And when you consider that the rest of the borough is totally subdued. With more space at their command than at the previous venue, Mr and Mrs A-P have indulged us with a PVC maze, more play equipment and all manner of interesting canoodlings. I spot the gorgeous Eva Vortex with shiny rubber slave at heel. And as I wander I do believe Morphia has located the 6th Wonka Bar Golden Ticket together with a Land Rover, Shergar and perhaps Lord Lucan as she tries to touch base with her victim in true Shari Lewis and Lambchop fashion. There is some terrific needlepay and rope work going on that I almost wish I had brought a knitting pattern myself. Knit one. Purl One. Rock on! Vasha is out with his shiny horn to treat us all with some more improvised sax and everyone is having a ball. From my perspective, interest, intelligence and beauty pervade and the only down side to it all is that I have to retire before the end of the evening due to old age and my lumbago playing up. Well that's my excuse. Never mind. I'll be back. And I urge you all to try out the next Club Smack. Watch this space! Hasta la vista baby! Zee"

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