Swinging Success

Home Features Clubs Stories Profiles Sex Toys Gallery Login

For more swingers articles click here

Swinging can be a potential minefield for many reasons. One partner being more enthusiastic than another, a last ditch attempt to salvage a marriage, an attempt to boost low self esteem and many other reasons. Swinging should be something partners enjoy doing together and above all should be an honest and open experience. The following tips are advice from a number of successful swingers and should help anyone new to the lifestyle enjoy a safe and problem free time.

  • Be Respectful – Sexual contact can be full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Treat people with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity (unless their fetish is to be treated otherwise).
  • Be Amiable – Even if you have no intention of swinging with a person, you may meet that person again and they may introduce you to someone you do wish to swing with. You may rely on them introducing you to many more people.
  • Be Aware - Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner enjoying them self. If someone else is not comfortable, try making them feel reassured and relaxed and even if things are not working out, remain polite and courteous. A good idea is to develop a signal between you and your partner to show when either need help in a situation.
  • Be Hygienic - An unclean body or unfresh breath can put potential swing mates off. It is always a good idea to freshen up when you arrive at a meet or club or party.
  • Be Patient - If you are interested in someone, let them know in subtle yet clear way such as a smile and a discreet gesture. If they are interested, they will respond. If they are not don’t ask why. Everyone has the right to choose without explanation.
  • Be Sure - There is no reason to involve yourself in any act that you are not comfortable with. Only do what you want to do, when you want to do it and with whom you want.
  • Be Firm - Swingers accept that everyone has the right to say No. You are under no obligation to give an explanation and such an action can often offend those who are misguided and think they are either irresistible or that swinging is a free-for-all.
  • Be Safe - The promiscuous nature of swinging increases the risk of Sexually Transmitted Disease (STI – see our Sexual Health pages). Each swinger should be responsible for their own protection and the use of condoms should not offend anybody.
  • Be Polite - Write a letter or email to people you have enjoyed swinging with or whose company you have enjoyed. A lot of time and effort goes into most parties so the hosts will appreciate a gesture to let them know people enjoyed themselves. You may find you are at the top of the invites list next time around.
  • Be Honest – Do not mislead people over your age, looks and capability. If people see you lying about something, they will not trust you on anything. Do not send a picture of someone you would like to look like! Send a picture of yourself as recent as you can.
  • Be Open - Talk about the experience you have shared with your partner and make sure you were both happy with it and want to move forward.
  • Be Clear – Understand why you are swinging and who you are swinging with. All too often successful swinging groups are put under immense pressure when someone falls for someone else other than their partner. The climate you are in is one of free, uninhibited sexual contact. The intimacy you have just shared with someone else’s partner does not mean they are in love with you. They have merely shared a sexual experience with you and will share with many others too.

Serious Questions

  • Are both partners equally excited about the possibilities in the lifestyle? If not, one partner can become anxious or resent the other partner. Talk about your fantasies in the cold light of day, if you both want to make them become a reality, then start making contact with people. If either one of you is not ready then stop and wait.
  • Are you in a healthy, content relationship? The lifestyle is not for the tender hearted or jealous partner. You need to know that you are both secure in your relationship. Dragging a reluctant partner to meet another couple, or taking them to a party is not going to make them change their minds. There is a very high risk that it will lead to the end of your relationship with each other.
  • Are you socially secure enough to go and meet other like-minded couples? Shyness, while accepted, is a barrier. Be proud of yourself and your mate. Swingers are less likely to judge you for superficial reasons. Personality, over most other things, is definitely a plus in the lifestyle.
  • Have you thought about your reaction to seeing your partner share a sexually explicit act with someone else? Sometimes your own excitement at having sex with many other people has been a block to realising you may not want to see you partner with multiple mates.

This list in by no means exhaustive but hopefully contains enough information for new swingers to fully understand what they are embarking on. The key to successful swinging is honesty and openness. Happy Swinging! 

Site Map : Contact Us : Help & FAQ's
Site and contents © Sensual Swingers